Can We Just Get This Stinkin' Election Over With?

I have come to accept the fact that most people want to be distracted. They want to care about something that may even hurt their lives. Love that High Fructose Corn Syrup even though it is causing obesity and rotting teeth. Love that “Walking Dead” and have to watch it even in front of the kids although seeing zombies eviscerated is quite traumatic for them. Love that massively inaccurate political ad cause it follows my political beliefs even though it cheapens the entire concept of Democracy.

Now it seems that many of our elections will not change much, but that does not keep the media and bloggers from making the biggest deal out of them possible. First lets take the London mayoral election. London has a lot going on this summer, from the Queens Jubilee to the Olympics, somehow they were first able to fit in an election to basically an almost powerless job. But boy did they made such a big deal about it!

In local politics we just got through with an election to fill Gabrielle Giffords seat, for a 6 month post. Wow, think of this distraction as a warm-up to November. Amazingly, after Jesse Kelly lost to Ron Barber, after losing to Gabrielle Giffords in 2010, he is actually NOT going to run again for November. I am absolutely shocked, I figured he would keep hacking at that tree till it fell down. I do have to say I am glad Mr. Kelly is not running again. I found his type of distraction politics to be very negative, although he had to be tempered after a psychotic schizophrenic shot Ms. Giffords as she was doing her job. During the election of 2010 these type of billboards were gracing the roads of southern Arizona:

Classy eh? This type of negative “hate” politics has been running rampant lately. ON BOTH SIDES! These type of no compromise unless our complete agenda is fully set in motion we will say no to everything (Tea Party Republicans) or our leader will never do enough to satisfy us (extreme-left Democrats) attitude makes me nauseous. And if you are a moderate, prepare to be completely ignored.

It often does not come from the political parties themselves, but from Groups and billionaires that our Supreme Court in its questionable wisdom opened the money door to with the Citizen's United ruling.

Here is classy advertisement from Hartland Institute:

Mr. Kaczynski had a Ph.D. in Mathmatics, so if I agree that 1+1=2, then I must be politically on par with a domestic terrorist, right? This kind of lowest common denominator politics is what is hurting our country. We need to find things we agree about and instigate those policies, it is time to build up, not tear down.

My family is quite politically diverse. Before the internet, we only had to deal with each others political attitudes during Thanksgiving and Birthday celebrations. Now we have Facebook and an internet full of hate and lies which gives my two cousins, who are brothers, ample ammunition to do the “I'm right and you are wrong” dance, much to the encouragement of those who agree with them. A friend of mine says she likes our politically diverse family since hers is all in agreement, with a preaching to the choir attitude. I would like a little of that actually, this not quite civil war amongst us wears me down. I know I should be enjoying this since I wrote a political satire but can we just get this stinkin' election over with?

I AM SO FRIGGIN' TIRED OF ZOMBIES!

There, I said it, and I feel so much better. It didn't start this way. I loved the movie “Shawn of the Dead,” but that was released in 2004. Eight years ago I might have checked out “The Walking Dead” but now, no way. Maybe it was because it was a comedy with Simon Pegg that let me be OK with the whole zombie thing.

It does not help when you tell your cousin you are writing a political satire in 2009, and he says “What about zombies? You should write something about zombies, zombies are so hot right now.” Yes, and I guess I should have written a zombie love story, cause zombies are so hot right now and romance never goes out of style! Just ask the writer of “50 Shades of Grey!” OK, so we will mix zombies with “Mommy Porn.” How about “50 Shades of Grey Matter: A Zombie Love Story.” It would fly off the shelves!

Now there are people on the internet talking about a “Zombie Apocalypse.” All because some idiot took a very dangerous drug called 'Bath Salts' and then attacked a homeless man in Miami. If you haven't heard about this you must have been on a deserted island with no internet. Lucky you!

For the fun of it let's give a definition of a Zombie (according to Dictionary.com): (in voodoo)

“the body of a dead person given the semblance of life, but mute and will-less, by a supernatural force, usually for some evil purpose.” Sounds like a really exciting character!

In many stories with zombies there is usually a horrible virus or in the case of South Park, Worcestershire Sauce that turns people into zombies, but they said it was “Pinkeye.” It is a hilarious episode, made in 1997. Like I said, comedy makes zombies tolerable to me.

Do some people want this zombie apocalypse? That is certainly what I get from this situation. The funny thing is I think the only people who would survive a zombie attack are well trained military people and the extremely lucky. That is what those shows are about right? We all want to be the lucky ones, hacking off heads and limbs but not getting bitten and therefore infected to then become a member of the Z tribe.

By the way, I cannot think of a better anti-drug campaign than: “Bath Salts Will Turn You Into A Zombie And You Will Want To Eat Someone's Face!” Nothing says “Don't do it!” quite like that. But there are those very special idiots out there who would probably say “cool!” Sigh.

This, of course, is a huge distraction. There are those that speculate that our fascination with this genre peaks during recessions. I guess you would want to think that “Hey, it could be worse, there could be a zombie apocalypse!”

Now I get to back track a little cause there is an exception besides comedy. I have to say I am fascinated with the world of “A Game of Thrones.” There are in this world creatures called “Wights” which are created by “The Others.” Or as my husband called them “Ice Zombies.” The great thing about this novel and now show is that they don't use the word zombie. They are called “Wights.” No Z word anywhere! Also, they don't just walk around with sores and limbs falling off calling for brains and sort-of attacking people. The Others are a stealth-like force, attacking quickly and are really scary to me. Finally, an original kind of zombie.

A Review of AJ Scudiere's “Resonance” - 4 Stars

I enjoy sci-fi and suspense. But, the sci-fi needs to be plausible and the suspense needs to be able to keep me from sleep. This only partially works for Ms. Scudiere's novel.

I found the premise very interesting but never really fully explained as to why shifting the magnetic poles would cause animals to go into a coma and potentially die. If that was the case then wouldn't we see strange results from analysis of people in MRI machines or from the people who use NMR to do research? We don't see people falling asleep in the MRI (that often), so this theory, while interesting does not seem that plausible. There are also those people, two of the protagonists, Jillian and David who can fall into a coma in one world, and wake up in another. Is an interesting plot-line, but goes a bit into the supernatural, why should they be able to do wake up in either time line when not many other people can?

Also, the idea that this phenomena killed off, or placed the dinosaurs on another earth is interesting, so if birds are what evolved from our dinosaurs, what happened on the other side? This question along with why Jillian and David are“special” and a lot of other questions go unanswered, they are just either vaguely speculated or ignored.

OK, now to suspense. A.J. Scudiere is a suspense writer. Suspense should be able to keep you awake at night and you have to force yourself to put down the book. There were many nights where when reading this book I fell asleep, maybe it was all the talking about comas. Really there is no way to truly be suspenseful with this story. Yes, it is a cataclysmic change to the world, but it is not done with explosions or tidal-waves, but with people and animals falling into comas and possibly dying.

Hopefully, her later works are more suspenseful, because she does market herself as a suspense author, and is definitely genre-bending. I really liked the originality of the story and still gave this 4 stars even though I am critical of the science and a few other aspects, I love to see originality in writing.

Oh Arizona, I Love You, But...

I was born 39 years ago tomorrow in Phoenix, Arizona. I love my home state. I have lived only maybe 3 years total in other other places including my 1 ½ years in California (too expensive) and traveling. Arizona is a beautiful place but we certainly do attract unreasonable people, to say the least.

The latest embarrassment is our Secretary of State (one heartbeat from being the Governor, not that Jan Brewer is doing such a great job) Ken Bennett. Our SOS is stirring up the Birther movement, AGAIN. I guess he is just following the lead of Joe Arpaio, Sheriff of Maricopa County. Because everyone knows it is the Sheriff's job to investigate the quality of the current President's birth certificate. I think if this conspiracy really had legs it would have been taken care of before Barack Obama was originally elected President of the United States. But don't let the truth get in the way of publicity, not when we can be a state that will not have the current President on the ballots to be re-elected. Not that Obama had Arizona's vote, we are a very red state.

This is just the latest in a long line of things our state loves to do wrong, and get publicity for their foibles.

Just a few weeks ago, our illustrious Governor, Mrs. Brewer, decided to copy the Susan G. Komen mistake and cut funding for Planned Parenthood. We all saw how well that went for the Komen Foundation.

Then there is the whole SB1070 debacle.

If you want to get OLD SCHOOL, there is the embarrassing story of our state being one of the last to accept a Martin Luther King Jr. Day as a state holiday. Believe me, our racism is not a new condition, we are just expressing it in so many new and varied ways. Gone are the days of the obvious racism of former car salesman turned temporary (he was kicked out pretty quickly) Governor, Evan Mecham. Here is one of his famous quotes that I find hilarious: "I've got black friends, I employ black people. I don't employ them because they are black; I employ them because they're the best people who applied for the cotton-picking job."

Now are the days of “veiled” racism, because we wouldn't question whether white guy, Senator John McCain could be president – even though he was born in Panama. But Barack Obama, who was born in Hawaii. Since his dad was Kenyan, we must question his status as a citizen. That is insulting to me since my husband was born in England, and my kids were born in the United States here in Tucson. Are they not really citizens? I guess they should not run for President. Should Mitt Romney be able to run? His dad was born in Mexico, ya know.

Oh Arizona, I love you, but for my birthday could you just not embarrass me for one year? That is probably asking too much. Sigh.

A Secret of “The Chronicles of IDIOT”

As I have said before, satire is misunderstood. When writing a satire that is close to real life, it can be even more problematic if the author thought she was being clever by changing names from reality. Then there is also the sticky situation that real people might sue if they think they are being unfairly insulted. It is a tough balancing act.

In writing this book there was something that I consider a secret, or a perhaps puzzle for the reader to figure out if they wish. Let's just say “the names have been changed to protect the innocent” and the guilty. This includes names of celebrities and the leaders of the nation. OK, the last leader is rather easy to figure out: President Obamarama. Well, duh. I thought it was funny, and I know I could have gone in many other more critical routes. It just seems stupid to go after the sitting president. Why not just ask to be put on a watchlist!

All the others President's names have been “modified” as well. The first one I mention in the book is Fauxman. Pretty easy right? So if you are nice enough to get a copy of this fine satirical novella, check out the names. Some are obvious, some are not. One more thing, if the name of the President sounds strange, plug it into Google translate and see what you get. You may get another giggle!

RIP Adam Yauch (MCA), You Were So Talented... and Funny

Adam Yauch (MCA) of the Beastie Boys died last Friday. Like Whitney Houston, his music was an integral part of our culture from the 1980's to today. I have to say that I didn't like the Beastie Boys music to start with, I thought it was too brash. The Beastie Boys certainly did make an impression with their first hit, an anthem to teenagers everywhere “(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party!)” from Licensed To Ill.

At first, they were brash and annoying to me. It is kind of like how I used to not like the Coen Brother's movie “Raising Arizona” because to me Arizona was not like their movie. Now, I find it an extremely funny movie, I guess I had to grow into my sense of humor. Later on with the Beastie Boys writing songs like “Sabotage,” “Hey Ladies” and from their last album “Make Some Noise,” I found their lyrics to be really funny and their music infectious.

They were rappers but also musicians, playing the instruments for such songs as my favorite rock and rap song “Sabotage.” That took serious talent, and hard work. Sure, some lyrics were really sexist and I have heard that they regret some of the things they have written, but haven't we all? I liked the fact that MCA would give shout-outs to “Trekkies” for he knew even nerds like a white girl from Arizona liked their music.

It is sad when we lose serious talent, and I am not seeing the talent well getting refilled for music. Maybe the world needs a break. Please, if MCA was a Buddhist, let him come back and help revive music, we really need it!

Lies, Damned Lies and Internet News

I read a fascinating article on Saturday called “Is An ESPN Columnist Scamming People on the Internet?” It is all about Sarah Phillips who apparently rose to internet fame writing about sports gambling in a funny blog. This story had a lot of elements I have a fascination for: con jobs, blogging, social media, and comedy. Con Artists are scary but intriguing characters, and I love those type of movies such as “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.”

Sarah Phillips and her cohort, Nilesh Prasad, seemed to be rising in fame enough to get her a column on ESPN.com, while simultaneously conning people on social media and the gaming industry to get a sports comedy website online. I don't know how they thought they could keep this up, eventually they would have burned all their bridges. It seems that they did, but I am sure there are more suckers out there for them to get associated with, and now they are famous!

Also equally fascinating is the way in which this story is being “reported.” I have to put quotes around it because it was reported on Deadspin, which seems to take any e-mail as fact and not check their sources. One guy even made up a story and sent it to the author. It was redacted after he posted a blog bragging about how these guys didn't even check up on the story. A quote from Wikipedia on Deadspin says “Like Gawker.com, stories on Deadspin come from anonymous tips, readers and other sports blogs.” Now while I think the initial stoy is true, and they probably checked that part out. To keep up with the ever faster internet news cycle, they just accept any old tip to keep this story hot.

It is true that John Edwards was first caught by The Enquirer. Is it only scumbags who can call out other scumbags? When Dan Rather called out George W. Bush for going AWOL for a year when he was in the National Guard, he had to publicly apologize and “retire in disgrace.” Mr. Rather has recently wrote a book telling his side of the story and is suing CBS news. I think he still has journalistic integrity, but then again, I am not a Republican.

It seems that one has to be very cautious about where to get your news. Since the internet now is a wild west of information with not many controls. The only control is your virus protections software telling you that the website you are about to click on seems “shady.” Today, there are many more levels of authenticity in journalism. Back in the days of Yellow Journalism it might have been easier to tell good journalism from bad. Not that many people today seem to care, they are just interested in the story, since it might be like watching a car crash.

My first title for this blog was “Lies, Damned Lies and Blogs,” but thinking about it I realized blogs are the easiest to state that they are inaccurate. They are just the opinions of people who want to be heard. Some people want to be heard so badly, they will post anything to get a click. It is ironic and funny when a blog is used to call out the inaccuracies of a news story. Yet, there are so many blogs out there that are stating news, that some people will take as fact, when they are skewed and bald-faced lies. Yes, I am calling out the political blogs on both sides, especially if you are hard-right or hard-left. In their war against each other, they spew the biggest volcano of BS you will ever see on the internet.

So, as a blog writer I can go that way, but I would feel like a major scumbag. I don't mind a small readership. Heck, last week I reported on the death of Sarcasm, but I put quotes around the word news, and if anyone thinks it was a true story they are on some serious drugs. I will try to be funny, try to be accurate (or I will call it “News”) but I will not be asking for any money because your gambling tip lost me $3000.