Monday, April 30, 2012

Short Short “News” Story: The Death of Sarcasm by Bludgeon


Sarcasm has died, it did so by being bludgeon over the head. In it's heyday it was almost underused, as many people did not get Sarcasm. Hiding in the shadows, it was only called upon when necessary. Sarcasm was like Zorro and had razor-like wit. Recently, it was so overused it had become bloated and was suffering from obesity and type-2 diabetes. It may have been too many “rants” by Dennis Miller that have been mutated by our youth. The mutation was less intelligent, even more snarky and the quick rapier turned into a large bludgeon.

It pains this writer to have to report the death of Sarcasm. She has depended upon Sarcasm as a defense mechanism since high school. What can be used now? Prat-falls and silly comedy are great for others but what if another George W. Bush gets in the White House?

Police are looking into Sarcasm's death as they used it's services as much as anyone else. Though the comedy autopsy leads only to one conclusion. That is the saddest of all, was this was suicide, as Sarcasm held the bludgeon that bashed itself over the head. Maybe it was by mistake, for it is difficult to use a bludgeon if you have a heart condition. Another working theory was that it was forced to kill itself by the writers of “Black Adder,” they didn't want to do it, but considered it a mercy killing. Or, perhaps since the world has become so jaded, and Sarcasm has been so overused, that it finally realized it had completely lost it's edge, and therefore it's relevance in our world today.

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