Guest Blogger: Heather Von St. James

 

A mom with mesothelioma

I was diagnosed with mesothelioma during a time that should have been the happiest of my life. I had recently given birth, and my baby was not yet four months old when I received the news that would change my life forever. I was told I had malignant pleural mesothelioma.

Although I was lucky enough to have the support of friends and family, explaining my illness was often difficult. After the initial shock upon learning of my condition, people usually were confused as to the circumstances surrounding my diagnosis. Since mesothelioma is caused by asbestos, and many people don’t realize that asbestos is actually NOT banned in the United States, many people wonder just how, where and when I was exposed to this deadly substance.

In my case, secondary exposure to asbestos is to blame for this illness. My father worked in construction, and carried home asbestos dust and particles on his clothing. Since mesothelioma can often have a decades-long dormancy period, secondhand exposure when I was a child led to my diagnosis at age 36.

Although the manner in which I developed mesothelioma was quite common, my age and sex made my diagnosis atypical. Mesothelioma is more often found in elderly men who have worked in construction, the automotive industry or served in the military. In fact, at the time, the Mayo Clinic, had only known of one other mesothelioma patient who was so young.

Secondhand exposure to asbestos is an extremely common cause of mesothelioma and other asbestos-related illnesses. Before mesothelioma was banned, it was used in abundance for production and construction purposes. The substance was used in the military in the building of ships, barracks, vehicles and parts, and was utilized in many civilian buildings and automotive parts as well. This included insulation and drywall in schools, hospitals, other public buildings and private homes.

While the individuals who built, lived in and worked in these buildings suffered firsthand exposure to asbestos, others were placed at risk as well. Their families and loved ones were often exposed to secondhand asbestos that was transferred through clothing, skin, upholstery and other means. This was the case for me, and is true for countless others as well.

While the prognosis for this disease typically isn't great, the good news is that advancements are being made all the time. Through tests and research, the survival rate among mesothelioma patients is increasing every day. Raising awareness of this disease is essential when it comes to funding and research. By sharing my story with the world, I hope that I'm doing my part to help increase awareness of mesothelioma.

I also chose to share my story for the benefit of others who have been diagnosed with this disease. For us mesothelioma patients, having the support of our peers is essential to treatment. It is vital for us to come together as a community; to offer ears for listening and shoulders for crying; to share our thoughts, feelings and experiences. Together, we can become untied and strong in the face of mesothelioma.

In These Demon Days...Turn Yourself Around To The Sun

I was all ready to do a different blog about facebook memes, and that may come next week or the week after. Then I heard this on my morning walk and it just seemed like I should share this song.

It may seem strange, but Gorillaz is a favorite band of mine. I never said I was normal. ;0) They are not for everyone. The best way I could describe them is like Radiohead mixed with hip hop. To quote Wikipedia about the Gorillaz: “Their style is a composition of multiple musical genres, with a large number of influences including alternative, rock, hip hop, electronica, dub and pop.” Like many great bands from the UK their lyrics can be quite depressing. It is probably the rain, that can be quite a constant thing there. Yet, when the sun comes out in the UK, it is glorious. Their lyrics can also be uplifting. The song “Demon Days” is a good example.

Here is the end (and my favorite part) of the song “Demon Days” by the Gorillaz:

In these demon days
It's so cold inside
So hard for a good soul to survive
You can't even trust the air you breathe
Because mother earth wants us all to leave
When lies become reality
You numb yourself with drugs and T.V.
So pick yourself up, it's a brand new day
So turn yourself round
Don't burn yourself, turn yourself
Turn yourself around
To the sun!

To the sun, to the sun...
To the sun, to the sun...

~~

Now the “sun” can be interpreted many different ways. Their music is certainly up for interpretation on the internet, they write concept albums that make you think. I certainly interpret this song in many different ways. It can be interpreted directly such as taking a walk in the sun. There is also light therapy, which I do during those dark winters even here in sunny Arizona. Or you could change the u to an o and turn yourself to the Son. Jesus. I get that from the use of a gospel choir. The choir just also sounds great.

But like I said, it is how you want to interpret it, I think it is a beautiful song, it is always good to turn yourself to the sun. Plants do it all the time. So, if you are feeling depressed, expose it to the light for what it is.

Don't think it will go away on it's own or if you do a drastic life changing thing.

I have moved and quit jobs in hopes that the depression would go away.

It did temporarily.

Then the depression still came back.

You (like I) may need to realize that and deal with it as best you can. Exercise (in the sun :0), light therapy, talk therapy and medicine (under the care of a doctor) are just some ways to help deal with depression. It helps me. Just get help, it is hard to turn yourself around, but it can be done. The sun has always been a major source of energy for the earth and it is an incredible source for us all. It is not just food for plants...

Ours Is A Very Special Relationship

The Olympics is back again! And now over! That was fast. This time in the UK. Much to Mitt Romney's embarrassment, these Olympics seem to have run rather well. Not that I would want to be there. London is expensive even in the off-season. God knows how expensive it is there now. I bet the traffic is also rather a nightmare. It is sort of better to watch it tape-delayed (thanks, NBC) than dealing with driving in the UK. Think of it like driving in the US but reduce the size of the car and the road by 50%. Kind of scary.

How do I know all this? I am married to a Brit. It might have been nice to be there in the UK, with his family, and get to watch all the action live in Northampton on the BBC. It would be better than learning the result from the news or Twitter and then having to wait 8 hours to see it in “prime time.”

Trying to watch it online? Forget about it. My poor father was trying to watch sailing and he should be all set up to do. But when I checked up on him a few Sundays ago, he was patiently waiting as the circle was spinning to buffer the coverage. I think he saw more of that circle spinning than actual sailing, so thanks a lot NBC!

OK, enough of my complaining about the coverage. Wait... thanks a bundle for bumping The Who to show a crappy sitcom, real classy way to end things, grrr NBC...deep breath....now I am ready. I actually wanted to discuss the US and UK's “special relationship.” I see it like I see my marriage. We are two very different countries and people. But we speak the same language (sort-of) and we work and play well together.

It really is amazing that the US and UK have developed this relationship given the whole American Revolution. We could have a terrible long cold war but no, they let us go and grow (sometimes to our detriment) and now we have our “special relationship.”

So many countries that have had long standing issues that may help if the “Mother” or “Father” country would really just let go. Russia and all of it's former members of the USSR come to mind. The middle east is a quagmire. I am not sure if that would help, but is all the bloodshed in Syria necessary, if the current regime lets go, and retires to Russia (we know you will) then maybe more killing can be averted.

Could it be because Britain let go of our colonies after the war of 1812? If you do not remember your history lesson about the War of 1812, you are forgiven. This could be considered the last bit of the revolutionary war. With the US invading Canada and burning it's capitol, Britain then reciprocating by burning down many government buildings, including the White House, and a lot of Washington D.C. It really ended as a tie and the only real losers were the Native Americans.

Then the UK eventually had to let go of a lot of other colonies. Many have not done as well as the USA, one example is Zimbabwe. I would like to think that maybe if their dictator, Robert Mugabe would let it go, their country could possibly get away from the horrible economic situation it is in.

The UK sets an example for others as well, including us in the US who will not let go of the civil war. Every time I see a confederate flag I only think of a dead temporary country. But many won't let it go or also won't let go of their supremacist views.

There was (yet another) shooting recently. This time in a Sikh Temple. The person who then killed himself was a white supremacist. His views and his hate killed others. He then shot himself, maybe he suddenly had a moment of clarity about what he had really done.

The United States and Great Britain have a great relationship now. Britain is doing just fine, thank you very much. If you could think of the USA as it's child, then it did quite well in growing up. We still have our problems, but maybe the example of letting go, and moving on would be the best for all.

Chick-Fil-A and the Hypocrisy of Parenthood

First, I would like to apologize for not posting a blog last week. A perfect storm of computer problems (a virus killed our netbook hard drive grrr... :( ) along with me and my kids being out of town made it impossible. I will try not to make it a regular thing. Now onto the blog!

~~

I guess parenthood makes us idiots because as a parent, there is no way not to be a hypocrite. It just goes with the territory. Fathers tell their kids not to smoke as they light up. Tell your kids to eat their vegetables but you cannot stand raw tomatoes (I am guilty of that one, but I do love them in salsa). You want your kids to grow up healthy but you are tired, it has been a long day, and right there is Chick-Fil-A. It is an easy fix cause the kids like the food, they do have great customer service and a very nice kids play area. The food is not so healthy, but there are healthier options that I do see other kids eat, but I am not going to be a hypocrite here and will say that they would rather have the fries.

I have been avoiding Chick-Fil-A recently. Their CEO said they were “guilty as charged” about their stance on marriage saying it is only between a man and a woman. They feel that same-sex marriage that those who "have the audacity to define what marriage is about" were "inviting God's judgment on our nation."

I believe that if two (and only two) adult (18+) people love each other and want to commit their lives to each other then they should be able to get married. It is about equal rights. Now if a company wants to give a portion of their profits to whatever organization, as long as it is legal, that is also their right.

I did not take my kids to Chick-Fil-A on Wednesday August 1st (Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day) and we did not go on Friday August 3rd (Same-Sex Kiss Day) either. First, I do not try to go to crowded situations with my children. They would get incredibly cranky waiting in a two hour line for some chicken. Also, since I do not agree with their stance on marriage, why would I subject myself to that kind of situation? Second, we did not go on Friday not because I was worried about my kids seeing two people of the same gender kiss. They would just see two people kissing. I was worried there would be someone who would not agree with those actions and may do a violent act. I would not want my kids anywhere near that. Luckily, nothing like that happened on Friday, but you never know.

There are many biblical definitions of marriage. There are biblical definitions and rules about a lot of things. I think the best example is the ten commandments. Since the ten commandments only talks about marriage in not coveting thy neighbors wife (a true threat to marriage) I would like to discuss number 6: Thou shalt not kill. We seem to do a lot of killing now a days. The world is a violent place, and even the government sanctions killing from prisoners on death row to wars. If we call ourselves a Christian nation, and Christ commanded us to follow the ten commandments, is our government right to kill?

So, we don't take “thou shalt not kill” very seriously, for whatever reason. We could say we are preventing killing by killing but that is a legal argument that I do not think God would buy. There were also rules in the bible about slavery.

Should we make slavery legal again since it is sanctioned in the bible? If you do not think slavery still happens in this world or even in the United States, you are incredibly naive. I am sure Walmart would love it if we brought slavery back. The workforce, not so much.

Is God's judgment being invited on our world by slavery and killing more than by “wrong love?” I would say yes. Many of the anti-homosexual passages in the bible (especially in the new testament) were discouraging pedophilia and you would have to be a sicko not to agree with that. But when it is two adults, to me, love is love.

There are many that say we need to boycott this restaurant while others who agree with their views are buycotting them (buying their food, especially on August 1st). I am doing neither.  Our Rep. Raul Grijalva said to boycott Arizona about SB1070, but that only really hurts the small business owner here, many who are Hispanic. Large businesses will just lay people off. The CEO's will not get hurt.

One thing that has really bothered me about this whole thing is some people's reaction to bigotry or hatred with just more hatred. A CFO in Tucson recently got fired because he posted a rant he taped while getting a complimentary cup of water from a Chick-Fil-A drive-thru. He was a bully and stupidly posted this on youtube. Then he gets fired. Way to go, you showed them! Not really. Why meet hate with hate? It just makes things worse. I bet Adam Smith will attest to that now because he has since apologized for his rant. If you don't agree with them just don't go their establishment.

Any which way I will be a hypocrite, I don't agree with their stance on marriage, but we will still probably go to Chick-Fil-A sometime. I will try to go on days where they give us a free kids meal if we buy an adult meal. That will cut into their profits and show 'em! Yeah, not so much. Since the kids are going back to school, we would naturally not be eating there not as much but I am not going to say never. No matter what you do as a parent, you will probably be a hypocrite. I would rather have my kids occasionally happy then have to try to explain to them why we cannot go. They will understand, but probably not for ten years. Hopefully by then, they will not understand what the big deal was about the definition of marriage.