Actual Chronicles of Idiocy 3: [Name Censored To Be In Review] – Thanks Barnes and Noble...

I didn't realize it would be so difficult to get reviews posted for my book. My Mom did it right away without my asking, another writer friend (Frank Balara) did it quite quickly and easily. Both of these reviews were posted on Amazon and/or GoodReads. But there were no reviews at Barnes and Noble, and I knew my friend Kathy, who read the book prior to publishing, and said she could not wait to read it on her Nook. So, I asked her to review it for BN.com, what then transpired borderlines on the absurd.

The review was censored. We tried to correspond with the people at BN.com to get it posted but they said we should change the review. Something was written that broke their rules on posting reviews. When Kathy tried to edit the review, the edit button that they say should be there was not there. This was after quite a few messages between us and what we have to assume were human beings at BN.com although the responses were not exactly original. I then suggested to try to post the review on Amazon.com and guess what...

Here is Kathy's review on Amazon:

5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommend!, December 12, 2011 By Kodiak Girl - See all my reviews This review is from: The Chronicles of IDIOT (Kindle Edition) I thoroughly enjoying reading this funny, thought provoking, and entertaining satirical book about a secret government agency that provides distractions, everything from video games to big foot, so we do not pay attention to what the government is actually doing. This book is well written and I enjoyed the author's clever play with words, especially names. My only complaint is I am left wanting to read more about what distractions IDIOT created. After reading this book I find myself even more amazed by what is considered "news." Part of me hopes that IDIOT is real!

Does that sound defamatory or mean? Yet, the BN software to censor reviews says it is not acceptable. It seems to be that since the term idiot is there and in capitol letters, she must be calling me an idiot. I guess I would have had to call my book Chronicles of Kittens for it to work for BN. But, make sure not to capitalize KITTENS. That might cause a problem.

The e-mail correspondence continued, eventually telling me to call customer support. Who then hung up on me. Probably not on purpose, but it was yet another irritation from this company.

I also have tried to chat online with them and here is the conversation:

13:17:48 : Erin: Initial Question/Comment: I am the author of "The Chronicles of IDIOT". A friend of mine tried to post a positive review but it was rejected. It seems that stating the title of the book violates terms of use for reviews. Is there any way to change this so reviews can be written for this book?

13:17:53 : System: Welcome to the Barnes & Noble Chatroom.

13:17:53 : System: Bob has joined this session!

13:17:53 : System: Connected with Bob. Your Reference Number for this chat is 347663.

13:17:58 : System: Thanks for joining us.

13:18:03 : Bob: Good day Erin, thanks for joining Barnes and Noble Digital Chat Support. I am Bob. Let me review the issue.

13:19:36 : Bob: Erin, as per our information there no option to change the review status for a book as it is a default setting set by Barnes and Noble.

13:20:23 : Erin: Hi Bob, so there is no way that a review be posted if it just states the name of the book?

13:21:18 : Bob: Yes.

13:22:15 : Erin: This is a serious problem for me, as this is the name of my book. Is there any way to request to change the default setting?

13:23:33 : Bob: Erin, I think you can contact our voice support for this issue as they might help you.

13:23:43 : Bob: Please contact Barnes & Noble Customer Service at 1-800-THE-BOOK (843-2665).

13:24:15 : Erin: OK, I will try them.

13:24:23 : Bob: Is there anything else I can help you with?

13:24:40 : Erin: I guess not as that is my problem.

13:24:54 : Bob: Thanks for contacting Barnes and Noble Digital Chat Support, have a great day.

13:25:59 : System: Bob has left this session!

13:25:59 : System: The session has ended!

So, another call and they then referred me to Publisher Services at BN. Where I sent an e-mail (PublisherAuthorInquiry@bn.com) giving my complaint one more time.

And now I am waiting to hear from them. Will BN be sensible or is this a case of political correctness gone amuck?

Sorry, but you will need to wait a few weeks, as I am going to take Christmas and New Years off from my blog. The blog will be back on January 9^th. A special HELLO to all the readers from Russia, the Netherlands, India and all others around the world who take the time to read this blog. Here is wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyful Kwanza, Sensational Solstice and Wonderful 2012.   

In Praise and Revulsion of A Song of Fire and Ice Books 1 & 2

I have had an addiction lately for certain books, and this is more than your normal addiction. But, let me tell you that I have broke that addiction but may go back later for more. Confused? I read A Game of Thrones and A Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin for the past few months and it has been an experience.

These books are of a complete world not unlike our medieval one, with political intrigue, incest, murder, war, but also a little magic. There are many small supernatural elements that would usually be in the forefront of these types of stories but Mr. Martin holds them back, which drives my husband crazy. I am fine with it, because the characters are in many ways more scary and unpredictable than the what is supernatural. Probably the more the supernatural elements are introduced, they will be just like the characters.

It is not to say that there are no gentile, good-hearted characters, but don't predict a long or easy life for them. Anyone with nobility is usually out-maneuvered easily. It seems that the complexity of his world parallels our own and I believe Mr. Martin does this on purpose. And this intrigue definitely fuels the addiction for this series. There are many different types of characters and some of my favorite are not the most popular in their fictional land. Many motivations are hard to figure out and may not get solved till later in the series. It gives me pause to think about some of our real-life villains and whether they did have good intentions but things went all wrong.

If you haven't already guessed, I am not going to get into any of the plot, it is so complex that it would be difficult to explain and would not do it justice. I will discuss the weather of their world because it is quite important to the story line. Our weather is quite predictable in that we have the four seasons. We also do have times called “ice ages” and times when the earth warms up quite dramatically. Luckily, we are not in an ice age but do seem to be in a warming event sped up by human action. Those ages can last hundreds to thousands of years. Mr. Martin must have thought of these ice ages when he came up with the concept of his world but instead had ice ages (winter) and warm times (summer) last from a few years all the way up to at least a decade. Try to think of how we would live our lives if we had a decade of winter to “look forward” to? This anxiety about “Winter is coming” is central to the story.

And maybe because it is winter now that I have to put down this series for now. It is incredibly addictive, but it is also so hard to read when horrible people do horrible things. One review from the Guardian says “...with characters so venomous they could eat the Borgias”. Indeed. In taking a break from the series, I have chosen the literary opposite by reading The Most of P.G. Wodehouse. In many ways a satirist with a very light, gentile manner. That probably won't stop my husband and I from watching the HBO series A Game of Thrones when it comes out on DVD. Like I said, addictive stuff.

Anti-Intellectualism 102 – The Politics of “Climate Change”

It used to be called “Global Warming”. Average air and sea temperatures are on the rise due to extra carbon dioxide in the Atmosphere. This extra CO₂ is causing a Greenhouse effect and is gradually raising temperatures everywhere. That was why it was called global warming.

Unfortunately, it was not so simple. We are seeing temperatures increase, but we are also seeing more extreme weather events, so now scientists call it “Climate Change”. This is a catch all phrase that is almost too general, but this is to try to satisfy the skeptics.

Scientists are supposed to be skeptical, it is one of our best tools to keep honesty and integrity an integral part of the scientific process. Unfortunately, skepticism has been abused in this case as in the case of Evolution. There is a great deal of evidence to show that there is too much carbon dioxide in our atmosphere and that this is a human caused event.

Blaming humans for anything worldwide has always been something that is never easily accepted. We like to think that all of our actions are always positive and good for everyone. Low priced items for Americans seem like a great thing for everyone. What about the American jobs lost to foreign countries, so that companies could charge less for their items because they are now manufactured much more cheaply since they only need to pay their workers $1 per hour instead of $15. So, are low prices the best thing? Well, that debate is pretty much over with the companies and the low prices are winning. You can try to fight against it and get something made in the U.S.A. but you will probably have to do a lot more research to find that item.

As I have said, when it comes to Climate Change, skepticism has been used to vehemently deny that there is anything wrong because a few scientist may not agree with the scientific consensus. The problem with that is that there is always a few scientists who will not agree with consensus. Heck, we still have a “Flat Earth Society,” although I would not call those people scientists. But, consensus means that there is a general agreement among most scientists and that is what we have when it comes to Climate Change. Therefore, we need to agree to do something to change our behavior. That is the hard part.

Just like with the worldwide financial crisis, the easy part is to see that there is a problem and that changes need to be made. The hard part is doing the changing and agreeing what needs to be done. So, if we never agree there is a problem we will never need to change, even when things are getting worse all around us. Yep, we are a bunch of ostriches with our heads in the sand.

The denial of the substantial scientific evidence for Climate Change is anti-intellectualism and the abuse of skepticism to deny it is a very cynical tool of politicians and companies. Hopefully, this cynical viewpoint will be found to not work for them soon. Approval of Congress is at an all time low, for Americans are skeptical themselves of any of Congress' actions of late.

In watching this debate that seems absurd, there are a few things I try to do: 1. Not vote for any candidate that belittles science in any way. 2. Try to change my behavior to lessen our carbon footprint. That is not easy because it seems to be expensive to be an environmentalist, but little things are a start.  

A Change in Projects

I am blocked in my writing. Well, for a certain project I am blocked. I wanted to write a satire on the perfect “tiger moms”. Trying to writing about a seemingly perfect but actually bad Mom has been depressing to me. I just cannot work on this project right now. Perhaps I need to let my kids get older, or maybe it is just because it is winter. Or it could be a bad idea, I am not sure. I am such a newbie at this.

I have been chastising myself, saying I am not hard core enough. A true artist would suffer for their “art”. If you have read my blogs in the past, you may know that depression is a problem for me, so I really should avoid it if I can. In reading the first two books of “A Saga of Fire and Ice” by George R.R. Martin, I envy his scope because it is truly a complex and fascinating world he has built. But, in that story are some very nasty people. Nasty characters do nasty things, and it is the job of the writer to bring those actions to the page, to carry the story along. It is a hard thing in writing, at least for me right now. Maybe, if I have been doing this for twenty years, I will be more used to it. Needless to say, but these feelings have also just turned me off to the story. Perhaps it just needs to be a short story. Or the fact that it is about Motherhood, a very important role in my life right now. Any which way, I am backing away from that project for now.

So, I am working on something with a little less satire and a little more adventure. It is an exciting in a way, and it is definitely different from “The Chronicles of IDIOT”. Although there may be those who think I should have added more of an adventure aspect to IDIOT, but that could be in the future, if I try to expand the IDIOT universe. It depends upon if there is any demand for more IDIOT books. Since there has not been much sales, I haven't felt much of a pull to try to expand that story. I have ideas about a prequel and for more detailed stories. We shall see.

I don't want to say too much about my new idea. But, it is a fun idea with a little history, a little biotech, a little absurdity, and a little controversy. He he!

Things To Be Thankful For...

I am thankful for my beautiful family, hilarious friends and our wonderful home.

That Tucson has mild winters.

That I have the time to try to be a writer.

That we have fewer dictators in this world.

That I do not have an addictive personality.

That Gabrielle Giffords actually survived a gunshot wound to the head.

That my kids seem to be learning something in school.

The lack of NBA games, who needs them! (Still in anger phase).

Now that Kim Kardashian's marriage is over, she will just fade from the spotlight, right?

Where we live in a democracy where we can elect our leaders who then choose what to legislate based upon the best lobbying (donations given) to them.

That we have Health and Dental Insurance, which only partially screw us over.

That we have at least one calm, rational Republican candidate for President?

That we don't live anywhere near Penn State.

That the world we live in is only partially messed up, not totally screwed. (YET!)

Anti-Intellectualism 101: Chicken-Pox Lollipops

Science and technology have blessed our country and the people of the world. If you don't think so, you might want to take back your smart phone, stop driving your car, stop going to the doctor, and move into a cave. Heck, you might as well not even use two sticks to rub together to make a fire.

Yet, there are some who rail against science. They deny published studies because it may hurt profits for an energy company. They insist that evolution not be taught in the classroom because it is not in the bible, although that would need to take Genesis literally, which many do. Or they send out Chicken Pox tainted lollipops for $50 a pop.

This last example is the latest in “I don't trust them doctors” mentality. Nobody who is mentally healthy likes getting shots and especially giving them to their kids. But a shot is a lot better than getting a disease that can kill you. They think the middle ground is having a Pox party, which 100 years ago might have been a good idea. But we now have vaccines: which are safe, multiply-tested, and certified not to cause Autism. These vaccines can give immunity without the child getting sick. So, yes, I think a shot is a lot better than a disease. The Pox party/lollipop proponents say that getting the disease “naturally” give “natural immunity”. Yes, but it also gives your child (and everyone around them) the risk of deadly complications. Many people used to die of Chicken Pox, it may seem a cute children's disease, but in adults (and some children), it is deadly serious.

Frankly, I think those who sell the Chicken Pox lollipops for $50 a pop are the students of the masters of the three card monty. Con Artists thrive in a recession and we are recovering from the mother of all recessions for the past 100 years. Isn't there that saying that a sucker is born every minute? Those suckers want to give their kids suckers that have been sucked on by a stranger. That sucker could have ANYTHING ON IT! I would rather pay to have my doctor jab my kid with a needle to prevent disease, than play: “what's on the lollipop along with the Chicken Pox?”

We have freedom of choice; and parents have the choice to not vaccinate their children, home-school them, and try to keep them from all the “evils of the world”. I am all for choice, but a choice involves using your brain. So when making a choice, please try to keep all options available. Because trusting a stranger selling $50 lollipops about vaccinations more than your Pediatrician is just plain scary.

Some of my future posts will further discuss Anti-Intellectualism, since I think this is a serious problem in our world today.

Actual Chronicles of Idiocy – 2

All good things bring sequels. The sequel may or may not be better than the original but it is usually bigger. So, for this chronicle of idiocy, we are going bigger and I will actually show I am more than a bit of an idiot at times.

The NBA Lockout

Remember basketball? I vaguely recall it, there used to be this league for that game, I think. But, it seems that there are quite a few over paid, spoiled people involved with that sport. They are millionaires fighting with other millionaires over millions of dollars. The people who actually love the sport are left trying to enjoy bowling or god forbid – soccer. Yes, I know the NFL season is on now, but that is a once a week sport where b-ball had at least two or three games a week. Given our ADD culture, I don't think the NFL is even close to enough.

Greece/Europe

When a government makes an agreement for a bailout and is just about to receive the money, the leader should not then say “Hey, now let's put this up to a vote.” Too late, the agreement was already made. Therefore, after Greece's Prime Minister did just that, the world's stock markets went topsy turvy. Then again, the whole set-up with Europe is kind of idiotic, like a half-built house. They have the foundation of a common currency. But, without the roof and walls of an agreed upon and enforced taxation laws throughout the Euro-zone, it is not a surprise that everyone is getting rained upon.

“The Onion” Creates Confusion

I love the Onion, a satirical newspaper. Recently, they put out an article called “Study Finds Every Style of Parenting Produces Disturbed, Miserable Adults”. The reaction to this article was beautifully idiotic. The article sites the real California Parenting Institute as the authors of this fictional study. Unfortunately, some of the good people at the CPI did not know that the Onion is only known for satire. Some were asked about this study, saying they did not know it was occurring and and wanted to know who was doing the work. Don't believe me? Check out this link: http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/11/01/parents-believe-onion-article-freak-out-accordingly/

I guess it is best when you do satire, to not name actual agencies, they may freak out.

My Own Writing Process

I wrote a book. Yeah! Now, I am getting feedback that is not so positive about it. Ick. It seems that I was so excited to get this book done, I must have rushed the creative process. There is some leeway about this, and I am still proud of what I did, maybe I should have given it more time. But that was the first try, and in working on my next project(s), I will definitely try to not jump the gun.  

Manufactured Monsters

There are many monsters we have created in fiction and urban legend. Sesame Street even turned the concept of monsters on it's head and makes them fun, fuzzy, friends of our toddlers. For Halloween this year, I want to discuss the concept of monsters and show the different ones our psyches will just not let go and new ones our media just will not let go.

Vampires

Ah, the classic monster, a creature that gets nourishment from drinking the blood of other creatures. Ever since Bram Stoker introduced Dracula into popular culture, the Vampire has been the quintessential monster. There are quite a few examples of “vampiric” animals in nature: mosquitoes, leeches, and a certain south American bat instantly come to mind. I am actually surprised there are not more vampires in nature since blood is quite healthful. Although now in popular culture, it seems that Vampires are sexy. True Blood, Eclipse, as well as numerous TV shows are showing young-looking Vampires with old souls that just want a little blood. I am not sure which is more absurd, the Sesame Street friendly monster or the sexy vampire.

Frankenstein's Monster

Thanks a lot, Mary Shelly. You have really screwed up science, ever since you wrote that book. You know the one I am talking about. Your monster, a reanimated man, has given reason for many people to loathe scientists and science. Mad science may be cool to some, but real science and scientists suffer.

The Mummy, and no I am not talking about Hockey Moms

The Mummy's Curse is based on Archeologists and grave robbers disturbing the Pharaoh’s tombs in Egypt. Many think the Pharaoh's so protected their treasures in the tombs that they were able to kill anyone who disturbed their crypts. Later evidence points to a deadly fungus which was present in the tombs as the cause of the “curse” which did kill possibly ten people. As to whether the tombs naturally had these fungi or if they were introduced by the Egyptians before the tomb was sealed is still a mystery for archeologists to answer.

Werewolves

People turning into wolves by the light of the full moon. Origins of this monster come from Europe and may have to do more with serial killers than wolves. Perhaps something evil that a person has done is so horrific that others have to explain it by saying they became an animal. There is a rare genetic condition called hypertrichosis, where the sufferer has thick hair growing all over their body may give the appearance of a man-wolf. It is sad that those people with these sorts of genetic anomalies were automatically assumed to be monsters.

Bigfoot

Mr. Bigfoot, also known as the Sasquatch or theYeti depending upon where in the world you are asking about a huge man-like ape. This is a variation on the werewolves except that many people thing these are just incredibly rare creatures or just an urban legend. They may exist, but I think there are many more hoaxes out there then real evidence for these creatures. It may be that there are hermits out there that want to be alone, and therefore scare people off.

Ghosts

I think many people want to believe in ghosts, spectral dead people who walk this planet before going to the “other side”. It explains weird things that happen, and some people must think this is how someone who dies a wrongful death can get revenge beyond the grave. I have never seen a ghost, but I do have friends who wholeheartedly believe they exist. It seems like our psyches sometimes need them to exist.

Chupacabra

This creature is a recent urban legend, the “goat sucker” is another cryptozoology mystery, like bigfoot.  A legend of the Americas, although they have been found in other parts of the world as well, and the hispanic community. Many skeptics think they are dogs or coyotes with terrible cases of mange.

Zombies

Zombies are hot this year. They are the monster of the year. A friend of mine posted on Facebook that he was going to write a biology lecture on zombies for Halloween. I joked that “zombies are so last summer”, but he quickly posted back that they are “still very hot, just look at the ratings for 'The Walking Dead'”. And he is right. For whatever reason, possibly recession induced, zombies which are people infected with a virus so virulent it makes their skin fall off their bones and turns them into cannibals, giving the famous “Brains....brains...” cry when they are hunting for fresh humans to feed upon. And if they only bite you, well then you become a zombie as well. Ick.

You know it is interesting how there are many parallels between all of these monsters. Vampires, werewolves and zombies make more of their kind by biting prey. The chupacabra is an animal form of a vampire. Werewolves and Bigfoot both are in the very least quite hairy human-like creatures. Frankenstein's Monster and zombies both have anti-science elements to them due to mad science or a rogue (possibly genetically engineered) virus that creates the zombies. All of these manufactured monsters find something in our collective psyche that scares the hell out of us. It seems these scary stories were started to keep people in the tribe, for leaving the tribe might mean a very scary fate, whether that is death by starvation, or death by a wolf. Today, it keeps our children from venturing too far from their parents, and some just seems to be entertainment so teenagers have an excuse to jump into each others arms (as if they need one). Although there are true monsters out there, and they are very human and whether propelled by greed or psychosis, we still need to be wary of them.

Have a Happy Halloween and be safe out there!

The Death of a Country By a Million Cuts

My son started Kindergarten this year. This was a big transition for him... and me. For him it was a transition to an all day school and the rigors of learning his ABC's and 123's. For me, it was learning that I was taking on a voluntary part-time job without my knowledge. It seems that no matter the school, fundraisers are an integral part of their budget. Even high class private schools have fundraisers. I have been inundated with information on how this school needs these extra funds and don't I care about my son's education? If I did, I would do all I could to raise more funds for the school. I am doing a few things, but honestly, I have other things I need to do. Unfortunately, one of those things is fundraising for my son's soccer team. If it is not one thing it is another...

I asked my mom if she remembers having to do lots of fundraising for my brother's and my education. She said there was a little, but not like it is today. It seems like these things are no longer our city's, state's, or country's priority. And that is a sad thing. A few years ago, our school district had to shut down 6 schools. It is a large school district, but I think that any time a school is shut down, it is a tragedy.

So why are we having to do so much more fund-raising now a days? Well, things everywhere have been cut back. Taxes have been cut as well, and while that may put more money in people's pockets, it also takes it away from things like education. Education is an investment. If you are investing in possible workers for your company, wouldn't you want them to be well educated? Wouldn't that make your business better in the future? But no, nobody is thinking like that now. Right now, it is all about what is wrong with education and government and we should cut it back; not thinking about who that could hurt or how far those repercussions could last.

I agree that budgets need to be balanced and cut are necessary. Unnecessary waste needs to be cut, but lets not throw out the baby with the bathwater. If we cut too much, too soon we could be heading to losing our middle class and on our way to becoming a third world country. I have a feeling that the extremely rich would not mind that at all, as long as they got to keep as much money as possible. But for the rest of us, things would get a lot harder. Our middle class that was built in the early to middle part of the last century made our country strong. Do we really want to lose that?

Having watched the Occupy Wall Street and other protests around the country, I certainly understand their point of view. Since I have children, I am not going out to protest. Sorry, but my kids come first. There is an excellent book by Tracy Chavlier called “Falling Angels”. It is the story of suffragettes in England at the turn of the century. Yes, they were doing important work, but it also showed how their children suffered because their Mother's thought that protesting was more important than raising their children. I just cannot do that, protesting is for the young and angry. Most of the rest of us are too busy to keep up with that. But it does not mean that we do not understand where they are coming from.

I am one of the 99%. It seems that more importance is being placed on material things than extremely important things like education. We have seen a crest of success in this country, but now it is over, so many children are no longer doing better than their parents. Are we witnessing the decline of the United States of America? I will try to vote in a way to slow it down and hope that my children will still do better than me. It may not be protesting, but it is the easiest way every citizen to tell our leaders what our priorities are for the future.

“Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish”

I was saddened to hear about Steve Jobs' passing earlier this week. At age 56, it seemed like such a young age to die. But, when you are battling cancer, as he was in the past, all of your time is a gift.

Now, I am not a MAC/Apple person. My father used to own a Macintosh computer, and liked the user friendliness aspects. I seem to be ambidextrous about computers, as long as I learn to use them, I can use them. Others see it differently. They HAVE to use a Mac or the HAVE to use a PC. Maybe it is because I am left-handed and have had to be more accommodating in a right-handed world that I don't have a computer preference.

I am fine with PC's, in fact I am writing on one right now. But, in college, I had an experience that made me consider the Gateway computer lines a “Gateway to Hell”. That was due to lost data. I learned later that it was a graduate student who had dumped my data (of which I had worked long hours to input) so he could load a computer game. So, it really was not the computer's fault, but I can't help but consider Gateways any other way. My husband had a considerably hard time writing his thesis on a Mac and has never liked Apple products. It might also be the fact that he likes to build computers and the Apple people really don't let you do that. Also, affording an Apple product is kind of a stretch for our family, that is just the way it is.

But, I am not trying to Apple bash, they make fine, beautiful products. How else could they be doing so well now? That is mainly due to Mr Jobs' vision. Here, I would like to honor Mr. Jobs as a visionary and discuss his speech given in 2005 to the graduating class of Stanford University.

If you have not heard or read his speech, I highly recommend it, it is quite inspiring. I heard it on NPR (yes, I listen to them quite often) when it was played for the last half an hour of “Talk of the Nation” last Thursday. Here is a link to a Guardian article with the text of the speech, and commentary (http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2011/oct/09/steve-jobs-stanford-commencement-address?newsfeed=true ).


Mr. Jobs gives 3 stories of his life which shaped him to the person he was at the end of his life. The lessons are a kind of opposite to the standard ones you hear in commencement speeches. He dropped out of college and considers it a good thing for life (most people would just consider him a drop-out). It is interesting that many of the Silicon Valley big-wigs did not finish college. Maybe just a few years was enough for them. The second story is about his being fired from Apple. Yes, it is true. He got brought back when his company NEXT got bought by Apple, but still, he got fired. The last story is about how he was diagnosed with cancer and had to face death. Doing so bravely, and wanting to live life to it's fullest.

The lessons are all about how to face adversity. Sure, first you are probably devastated by anything like this happening in your life. But, as Mr. Jobs points out from his life, you can take dropping-out, getting fired, and facing down death as opportunities. These things make sure you focus your life.

He was the visionary he was about technology, but he was also focused on his goals because he knew everything else was secondary. It is a lot easier to have a clear vision of what you want in life if you focus on what is important to you. What do you love? Is it your priority?

My great loves are my family and my writing. In that order. I do try to keep everything else out of my focus. My writing suffers, but my children have to come first, I just have to trust that everything will then work out.

The last thing Mr. Jobs discussed in his commencement speech was a saying from the Whole Earth Catalog that he uses as his last recommendation for everyone. I think he would want this to be his words of advice to the whole world: stay hungry, stay foolish.


Now, at first glance, you might think those are insane words of advice to anyone. But the opposite of that is stay satiated, stay sensible. Those words are what is expected, and those who do what is expected usually do not make an impact in this world. Yes, you are doing alright, but are you doing what you love? Sometimes you do have to just hope that things will work out for the best and take chances.


So, I agree with Mr. Jobs, because time is short. It certainly was for him and I do believe he lived his life to the fullest.


Therefore, stay hungry and stay foolish.



We are traveling to Texas for a week to attend a family wedding.  Being on the road makes it more difficult to blog for me, so I am taking next week off.  See you in two weeks!

Intelligent Ladies, Give A Little Gift To The Future

First – ANNOUNCEMENTS! Three joyous things to report.

1. The Chronicles of IDIOT is now available on Apple and Barnes and Noble! We are close to having it as available as we possibly can for being self-published.
2. Frank Balara has reviewed The Chronicles of IDIOT on his blog (http://frankbalara.blogspot.com/2011/10/review-of-chronicles-of-idiot-by-erin.html) which is also posted on Amazon.com and goodreads.com.
3. As you can see, the blog has some new features including two new pages (at the top) to show all the places where you can purchase a paperback or e-book version of The Chronicles of IDIOT and an easier place to preview the book's first 5 chapters.

Hello there intelligent ladies, you certainly have your career in order. Finished school, almost got it paid off and now you have a great job. Now may be the time to think of the future. Do you want a future filled with idiots? Well, if you don't have children, that very well may happen.

The movie Idiocracy by Mike Judge, makes an argument that if only the stupid people reproduce, then we will select out intelligence. Do we really want this to happen? I don't. I know that it is hard to “have everything” and therefore, you may have to give up some things for children.

As a Mother of young children I can tell you the first thing you will have to give up is cleanliness. Kids are usually not neat! The second thing you will have to give up is sleep. I still occasionally wake up at all hours because of the training my sleep schedule got from when my children were babies. The third thing you will have to give up is being able to watch/play whatever you want whenever you want in front of your children. I cannot watch certain television shows and my hubby has to curb his video game addiction unless the children are asleep. This third one is a big judgment call on your part. You may be fine with watching Saw with your kids, but don't complain to me when they try to saw off your finger.

I certainly think that despite the things you have to give up, you get so much more when you have children. And in the end, you are giving a genetic gift to the future. This is the easiest legacy there is in the world. Hopefully, the future that will be wonderful for your children. All we can do is try in our lifetime to make it better, and hope that your kids will do the same.

So, come on ladies! Being in a loving relationship helps, but if your career is in order, and bringing home the bacon, all you really need is a plan and a sperm bank.

I Heart Flagstaff

This last Friday, I met a friend for lunch and when heading home, I tuned into NPR's show “Talk of the Nation – Science Friday.” When I heard that they were broadcasting from Flagstaff, Arizona I actually yelled out in joy.

Ah, Flagstaff, home to NAU, my Alma mater. I love it there. And the reason Science Friday's Ira Flatow was there doing a show was because the “Flagstaff Festival of Science” (http://www.scifest.org/) had just started. It will run till October 2^nd, and if you are anywhere near northern Arizona, please check it out!

Why do I love Flagstaff so much? I spent seven of the best years of my life there for an education. I am not saying that they were the happiest years of my life, getting an education can be emotionally difficult, but in the end rewarding. Northern Arizona University (Go Lumberjacks!) gave my family its monies worth. It is a teaching University which emphasizes learning, while also having great research facilities. Now, please don't think it took me seven years just to get my degree. Sometimes it may seem that I am that lazy, but in reality I loved Flagstaff and NAU so much that I stayed for a masters degree.

The smell of the Ponderosa pines still makes me smile and I had to include Flagstaff in my book. It seems to me that a lot of people don't think much of Flagstaff or NAU. They are much more into the large Arizona Universities of ASU and UA. While those universities have done much for my family (my parents and brother went to ASU and my hubby works at UA), I love NAU and Flagstaff because it is different. How is it different? Well, Flagstaff is a smaller university town instead of Phoenix and Tucson which are large cities. Flagstaff is at 7,000 feet elevation, so they get snow in the winter. Luckily, it is only usually a 'once a month' type of snowy weather. A once a week/everyday type rain and snow would be not enough sun for this Phoenix-born girl.

At 7,000 feet, you get to see the milky way on every clear night if you drive 10 minutes out of town. You cannot say that in Tucson, but the Astronomers, and there are quite a few of them down here at UA, build telescopes on the various mountains down here in southern Arizona. Those mountains are quite a lot like Flagstaff, but with even less light pollution.

I have many memories of great food and fun in Flagstaff. The fish tacos at Salsa Brava make me come back for more every time I am in town. There are also fun memories of meeting friends on a Friday night at Beaver Street Brewery, Mogollon Brewery, or Uptown Billiards to decompress from the week. The Black Bean is a hometown competitor to Chipotle, but with more variety. It was good enough to get a shout out in The Chronicles of IDIOT. Hiking near Flagstaff is one of my favorite all time activities, along with snow fights and building a snowman with my kids last winter.

“Now, Erin”, someone might say, “isn't it politically incorrect to have a lumberjack as a mascot?” Well, to that I say “I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK.” (THANK YOU Monty Python!) Lumberjacks bring us paper and I am an author, so I think I have to be OK with Lumberjacks. I am OK with recycling paper as well, by the way.

There is an irony here, as I am allergic to pine pollen. With medication it is manageable but there are times when I visit forested areas and am miserable. This would not stop me and my family if we had an opportunity to move to Flagstaff.

Every place has it's problems, in the Sonoran desert it is the 120 degree temperature highs during the summer. In places like Florida, it is the sweltering humidity and possibility of hurricanes. The central plain states are called Tornado Alley. On coastal California, it is the potential of devastating earthquakes. Actually, there is a potential of earthquakes and other geologic activity in Flagstaff, as the San Francisco Peaks, the beautiful mountain range outside of Flagstaff is a dormant volcano. But, the only earthquake that occurred when I lived there was registered 3 on the Richter scale and I slept right through it. Anything could happen, geologically speaking, but in our lifetime, I would place my bets on activity occurring in California than northern Arizona.

Lastly, I would like to say that while in many places (and during political debates) science is being degraded and criticized throughout our country, it is nice to see a town celebrate the wonders of science. Yes, Flagstaff is my kinda town.

Motivators in Writing

First some business and good news! The wonderful people of Smashwords have added The Chronicles of IDIOT to their premium catalog. Now it will be distributed to Barnes and Noble, Apple and Sony among others. Unfortunately, now is not exactly now. It may take a few weeks before it appears on those e-book provider websites. I will keep you updated and will be changing the blog to accommodate so many places where the book can be purchased. So Nookie owners – stay tuned! Your patience has been appreciated!

Motivators are funny things. Sorry, not ha ha funny. You can be motivated to write because you woke up in the middle of the night with an idea. I had that happen a few nights ago, but what I was thinking about would probably be better for an idea for a story to be written by my next protagonist. Yes, a story within the story. Don't worry, I'm not gonna go all Momento on you all, and make it really confusing. I am just making it confusing for myself, because I didn't know this person was going to be an author until I thought of the story she would write.

As you can tell, I am rather new to this writing business.

So, motivating myself to continue is difficult when there are many other things that I need to do. I remember the movie The Stepford Wives with Matthew Broderick and Bette Midler. The memorable thing for me was that Ms. Midler's character was an Author, and her house was a MESS. But, she was a successful Author (with a capitol A!). Should I try that route? No. My house is messy enough already. But it is tempting. After she gets “stepfordized” her house is spotless and her computer is off. Definitely cannot go that route either, although it has it's temptations as well.

Therefore, it is a compromise of time and cleanliness.

There are other ways to organize your time to write. I hear of Authors (there is that capitol A again, it means they got paid for their work!) that wake up really early to get things done before the rest of the family wakes up. Or they insist they have to finish at least a daily: 3 page/3000 words/insert whatever benchmark seems reasonable to you. There are no such benchmarks for me, not when my benchmarks are: have the kids eat breakfast, now gotta brush their teeth and get them to school. I may work on writing early in the morning, since I seem to get up at 5AM no matter what. I was using that time to walk my dog since we live in Arizona and would melt any time after 9AM. But with the fall upon us and temperatures coming down, I can have some more flexibility. When the kids were younger, I worried they would get up, and be upset that I was gone, even though their dad was there. Not as much now. Now, I have to worry they won't get up at all before school starts. I do prefer it this way, it is hard when your 1 or 2 year old start crying because they see you are leaving – even if it is only for an hour.

I would like to think that success would be a great motivator. And many Authors love nothing more than to keep their successful stories going. But, with others, I can tell that they seem to be “phoning it in”. I still read their work, I am a sucker that way. It would be wonderful to be successful, it would sure motivate me. But, that is not happening right now and I just have to accept it. One thing that is helpful is that I have heard that being an a/Author is one of the top ten jobs that make people happy. For a/Authors, it is because you get to say what is on your mind, whether you get paid for it or not. So thanks to e-books and changes in the industry, anyone can cheaply publish a book. That is a wonderful thing.

In the past, to get published, you needed a literary agent. You can still go that traditional route, but they are a tough nut to crack. Rejection of writing is the name of their game. Since they know that your work will be a tough sell to the publisher, they don't take chances. So, most authors are rejected out of hand unless their name is Obama or Kardashian, or they write about a hot topic with juicy details such as the new bio on Sarah Palin. Rejection can be a big motivator if you are an eternal optimist, or a big de-motivator if you are a regular human being. I know I just made up a word there but English is a constantly evolving language and I think you see my point. Rejection and lack of interest from others are what keep us from keeping on with what we want to do. The hard part is to say “forget their opinion,” just keep going, and try to become that eternal optimist. Many of the most successful people had many failures along the way, they just did not allow those set backs to slow them down.

Now, I am just trying to keep motivated, and write this next book. Since my life is all about parenting, I have started working on a satire (yes, a satire again) on “superior” parenting. There was a certain book that came out last year that touted a certain kind of superior parenting. I am working on a different viewpoint (not so superior) of that kind of parenting style. I am not sure whether it will be a novella or a full fledged novel. Some of my writing friends are more mindful of word count, I am trying just to stay motivated.

Not My Cup Of Tea...

First some business. The Chronicles of IDIOT is now on Smashwords.com! Therefore, it should be available for the Barnes and Noble Nook, along with many other e-book providers soon. I will keep you updated as to when it is available! Also, since the book will be available in so many places, I will be redesigning the website to make it all more user friendly, and hopefully not confusing. Please let me know at Chronicles.of.IDIOT@gmail.com if you have any suggestions for improvement.

I have noticed that I get a few Tea Party members who try to follow me on Twitter. I think after a few posts they notice I am not in line with their views. And in the interest of full disclosure let me tell you all: I am not against government spending.

This may seem as a surprise, my profile says I am an Independent, who wrote a satire (The Chronicles of IDIOT) about a secret government organization. It would seem that I am one large tax bill away from joining the “Tea Party Patriots”. Except for one thing, like I said, I am not against government spending. In fact my family is supported by government spending. My husband is a research biochemist who works at a University for a professor who gets her research funding from the NSF and NIH. Our livelihood is funded by the government agencies of The National Science Foundation and The National Institutes for Health. Science is a wonderful thing for the government to invest in, it is an investment in the future, like education.

So why did write this satire? Well, cause I am against a certain kind of government spending: secret spending. It is inevitable that (supposedly) for our own good, the government sets up secret (and semi-secret) agencies to protect us. Such an example is the National Security Agency. Supposedly (but secretly) the NSA has set up servers all over the country and is keeping all e-mails sent in and from this country. This is an important privacy issue that the government thinks is too important for us to know about. The only reason I found out about it is there was a story about a NSA employee, Thomas Drake, who was set up on espionage charges because he was a whistle-blower about secret budgetary overspending. That is the thing, how can the spending be accountable if it is secret? If you are more interested in Mr. Drake's story, google him, the findings will scare you.

But that does not make me a Tea Party member. I agree that we need to reduce spending and get the government's budget under control. But the Tea Party seems to want it done yesterday, and whines even when they get a compromise. I remember hearing an interview with a Tea Party Member who was PLEADING for her representative to insist that we balance the government budget THIS YEAR. That logic is tantamount to sending our country into a depression that would make the 1930's look like a very nice dream. The budget is going to have to be fixed in a lifetime, not a year, or we will regret it.

There is a song by David Bowie called “I'm Afraid of Americans”. Well Mr. Bowie, I too am afraid of some of Americans. I am afraid of the ones who see compromise as a dirty word. The ones who say “if you are not with us, you are against us”. We have to work together and compromise to fix this problem, or things could get a lot worse. And you know when we need to do that? When the recession is totally over (there is still some debate about that) and more people are at work. It is during the good times that we need to buckle down and work on the debt and deficit. The only problem is during the good times (as with the bad times) everyone wants a tax cut and no one wants to sacrifice. We can start the process now, but we need to keep it up for our lifetime, then maybe our kids (and their kids) won't have to pay for it all.

The Joy Of Satire 2 – Books Can Be Funny!

Quite a while ago, I did a blog on The Joy of Satire. My beloved and chosen literary style. I read all kinds of books: spy novels (such as Frederick Forsyth), chick lit (such as Jennifer Weiner), historical fiction (such as Wilbur Smith and James Michener), science fiction (Such as Arthur C. Clark), fantasy (such as JRR Tolkien), medical thrillers (such as Patricia Cornwell), psychological detective thrillers (such as Jonathan Kellerman) and lots of Comedy (such as Janet Evanovich).

Sometimes finding comedy in other genres can be great, sometimes it seems out of place and disappointing. It seems that if you are going to write comedy, just admit it, and try it out.

So satire in Literature: it is found easily and often. Also, like other media, it is found in places you may not be looking. Charlaine Harris is basically an fantasy author, but she is also very funny, and her Sookie Stackhouse books are subtle satire, with vampires and other scary creatures of the night.

But that does not mean you can't find satire only in “adult” type books. Two of my favorite stories from my youth are also satiric in nature: The Emperor's New Clothes (by Hans Christian Andersen) and Animal Farm by George Orwell, are stories for children and young adults.

I thought the earliest written satire would be from those wacky Greeks. But actually (according to Wikipedia) the first evidence of satire is found in Egyptian writing starting at 2000 B.C. I guess it goes to show you that snarky humor has been around quite a while. This is despite many teenagers who feel they are inventors of sarcasm and the like. Ah, to be young and think you are original.

One of my favorite American authors, though in all honesty, I need to read more of his work, is Mark Twain. Or the author formally known as Samuel Clemens. His book, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, truly influenced me as young person and inspires my writing now. Another cool thing about Mr. Twain, he was a contemporary and friend of Nikola Tesla. They would often hang out in Tesla's lab. That friendship would make one hell of a story – to me.

A more recent author has taken satire, as well as many other literary styles and has made it his own, then he left our planet, making it a poorer place. David Foster Wallace was a challenging writer, when you delve into his work, you have to be read for his “juggernaut of words”. In reading his essays, you find yourself lost in a sea of commas but not much other punctuation. This stream-of-consciousness type writing genuinely brings you into the characters thoughts, which adds so much more satire. No one wants others to know what they think, that would be embarrassing. I bought Infinite Jest a little while ago, but I am not in the right frame of mind to read it yet.

The author I will end this blog on is kind of like the one I started it with. Terry Pratchett took fantasy characters, magic, a whole lot of humor, and created the Discworld series. On this flat world there are wizards, witches, dwarfs, dragons, fairies, giants, but there are also ordinary human characters who find themselves in extraordinary circumstances. His fanciful play on characters and situations have given me insights into our world, including making you think about very human issues like prejudice, greed and love. My husband and I especially love his books about the Watch (sort-of mid-evil police) and the Tiffany Aching series about a young witch finding her place in her world. It is very sad that Mr. Pratchett may have to put down his pen soon, as he has early onset Alzheimer's Disease. His work is quite famous in the United Kingdom, but he is not very well known in the United States. It is thanks to my husband and his family that I found this author. I hope many others in the US will give his work a look, it is well worth it.

What I am reading right now is a satire called A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole. It won the Pulitzer Prize and I am finding it quite goofy. The anti-hero, Ignatius Reilly, is sort of a Comic Book Guy (if your a fan of the Simpsons) but even more lazy, opinionated and willing to argue the most absurd viewpoint just to hear himself talk. This book also gives a much different view of New Orleans, a city that other authors view as scary, mystical and troubled. Mr. Toole shows New Orleans to be troubled, but a rather silly place, mind you I am only one quarter into reading this book.

It also seems that I have a lot of other reading I should do, from Twain and Wallace to reading Game of Thrones. One of the nice things about being an author is checking out other people's work. The key is not to be intimidated, just to be inspired.

The 99 Cent E-book Club

One of the more fun parts of self-publishing a book is deciding how much you want to charge. If you charge at least $2.99 on Amazon you can get 70% of the royalties. That's a spicy meatball! If you actually sell books that is. Sorry to end on a preposition there, but that is the rub. Getting people to “take a chance on you.” Yes, now that ABBA song is floating through my head.

I choose $5 for my e-book. I thought that $5 was not that much these days (about the price of a fast food meal) and people would take a chance for that amount of money. Not really. I liked the idea of a straight amount, showing I was trying to be an honest sales person. I have always thought the 99 cent concept as misleading. And, don't get me started with gas prices, $3.15.99 is a good price in Tucson and in the country right now. You know why I added the extra .99 right? The real price is $3.16 but you are enticed by 3.15(.99). It seems to be a shared delusion. But, I digress.

We have decided to use Smashwords.com for the rest of the distribution of The Chronicles of IDIOT. With this service, we can publish to Barnes and Noble, Sony, Apple, plus a few others. Now, I have heard that to publish with Apple (which we would do through Smashwords.com) our price HAS to end in .99 cents. Seriously? So, I may be changing the price of my book. I may go down to $2.99 to stay in the Amazon 70% royalty territory. I have also been flirting with going all the way down to $0.99. Why? I want my book to actually sell! That and I could enter my book in the Amazon Singles and (if chosen) be added to a pretty exclusive book club. (I know, but I can't stop being an optimist). But, I can't now because the publication has to be priced between $0.99-$4.99. Yes, it is ONE MEASLY CENT that is holding me back. And of coarse, my mother said “Well if you are only going to sell your book for $5, why don't you sell it for $4.99?” Thanks, Amazon, my mother gets to say she was right. Again.

But, there are those that say you are diminishing the value of your book by selling it for so little. Yes, but you are actually selling it, so it is a double edge sword. And, I would like to just pick a price and stick with it, not fling the price around like a creepy Walmart smiley face. I know some authors that seem to be doing that, where they lower their price to $0.99 to attract customers, then jack up the price when they see some sales.

My husband is an avid coffee drinker, it is what keeps him going through the day. He stopped drinking coffee last week because his supplier jacked up the price for the new semester. I know e-books are not cups of coffee (just the price of a good cup of coffee) and it is a one off purchase, but I don't want to upset the people who paid a certain price for it, just to see the price go down. The thing is that I would not be pissing off too many people right now. Although those people are friends and family. Everybody's favorite people to anger. What to do?

Well, I am going to be joining this .99 cent club no matter what, so it has been decided to go with the e-book price of $2.99. Tell your friends!

Probably TMI (Too Much Information)

The blog below is probably TMI, but hey... isn't that what a blog is for?

I have a confession to make. I have in the past been a depressed person. Heck, given the current state of politics and the economy, I am only a partially depressed person now, thanks to medication. This medication helps me from letting my moods get the best of me. But, in a way, I think it is a badge of honor to say I am depressed. A recent psychology article shows evidence that mildly depressed people seem to see the world for what it is, where “normal” people see it for what they want it to be. Yes, I would love to see the world for what I want it to be, but I guess I have my reality knob stuck at 11.

Part of what makes me a depressed person is that my guilt knob is also occasionally stuck at 11. I can feel guilty for many things. I worry about many things. It is part of my nature. My book (available NOW on Amazon *plug*) is not perfect. I had to let that go cause it would take me years to perfect it, and that would drive me crazy in the process. So I let it go, but I will feel guilty when someone e-mails me to let me know I used a comma when I should have used a semi-colon. It used to bother me more, but now, while I will feel guilty, I will also know that this person is one of those people. You know what I mean by one of those people, the ones who want to “help” and love pointing out faults. Honestly, those people get on my nerves. I know it would be good to be grateful, but some people just push it too far, most of the time, they see things as black and white.

A good reason for my feelings of guilt is because I see shades of gray. I don't try to things in black and white. I also don't take many things in the bible literally. But many people do, and think that is the only right way to see things. I was raised as a Lutheran, and we have our own brand of guilt. Yes, the Jews and Catholics think they have the market cornered on guilt, but we Lutherans can dish it out just as well. Especially the conservative ones. Heck, Michelle Bachmann “was” a Wisconsin Synod Lutheran, until her cronies told her it would not work as well as being a member of a “Non-Denominational” Christian. I was raised an ELCA Lutheran, and we are more liberal, but guilt still can abound.

In my working past, I worked in science. Whenever things did not go well (as my boss expected) I always wondered if it was something I did. Could I have done something different to make the outcome better. My last position did this type of repetition ad nauseum. That was really because my boss was not that original, but back then I blamed myself. It took me a long time to let go of science. I liked a lot of things about the job, but the guilt was too much. If I have to go back to that kind of work, I will, and hopefully I will not blame myself too much if things go wrong.

Now, I am a mother and a writer. I have the freedom to be a writer. If I get things wrong, it is only on me. I am not potentially ruining the lab's chances at future funding. I really enjoy this freedom. I think this is what I am supposed to do now, but that does not mean I don't wonder what it would be like to be back in a lab, making actual (but small amounts) of money, doing science, and talking to human adults about work and life. I love raising and therefore talking to my kids, but it is not the same.

I have always been fascinated by biology and therefore, evolution. Many scientists call evolution the glue that brings all the biological sciences together. It is one of those shades of gray I see. I believe in God but also believe God brought life to the planet by evolution. I also feel that people can change, and since it usually takes longer than ten minutes, it could be considered an evolution, of a sort. I am hoping to evolve to accept myself for who I am. And to help my children, if they get weighed down by guilt or depression. Mild depression just means you see the world for what it is, and that is the first step to knowing how to change it. I recently tweeted “Sometimes I think this country is a big #assholefactory.” It would be helpful to try to change that, for my kids.

How To Publish With CreateSpace!

First, as always, is business.  My book is available for sale as a paperback on createspace!  Here is the link:

https://www.createspace.com/3658994

It should be available on Amazon as a paperback soon, perhaps in a week.

Today my blog is going to be a little different.  My father-in-law is interested in publishing on createspace, so my husband wrote up some general instructions on how to do just that.  So, we have a guest writer for today!  

To self publish Erin's book in print we used Create Space, which is owned by Amazon.

www.createspace.com

Its website is very helpful, though not very well organised. Much of it is marketed towards pay for services, but everything can be done for free (except ordering proofs). I will go through the steps we used. A useful starting page is:

www.createspace.com/Products/Book/

from which most of the useful stuff can be accessed.

First we downloaded a Word interior template for the book:

www.createspace.com/Products/Book/InteriorPDF.jsp

This page has all the submission requirement for the interior of the book, but most useful of all is a list of example Word files for each of the book sizes supported and Word template files ready to download and use. We used the 5 x 8 inch template into which we copied and pasted Erin's book text into, and then formatted it the way we wanted the printed book to look.

The next step is to export as a “print ready PDF”. Their is a whole bunch of software that can do this, but we used OpenOffice Writer since we use this software instead of MicrosoftOffice.

download.openoffice.org/

This program has an “Export as PDF” option under the File menu. It is important that when saving as PDF you check the box next to “PDF/A-1a” and do not check the boxes next to “Export bookmarks” or “Export comments”. When we first uploaded the PDF file generated with these boxes check it was rejected.

To upload you book you will need to sign up with an account on Create Space.

www.createspace.com/Signup.jsp?

     then start a new book and start entering all the relevant information about your book (which you can change later). If your book is black and white you will need to decide on white or cream paper, etc. Create Space can also assign your book an ISBN, but you can't change it once you accept it. You can work on each section later and the “Dashboard” will indicate what section needs your attention before you can submit your book for review. Once you have uploaded the PDF of your book interior you will need to decide on a book cover. The simplest option is to use the Create Space “Cover Creator” tool into which you can upload your own images:

www.createspace.com/Tools/CoverCreator.jsp

Though we wanted more control over the final cover look, so went with creating a PDF file of our book cover using a template generated by Create Space:

www.createspace.com/Help/Book/Artwork.do

and the software InkScape to generate the PDF:

http://inkscape.org/download/

Once you have uploaded the files and supplied then necessary information you can submit the book for review. After a couple days your book should hopefully pass review and you can order a proof. The proof should arrive within a few days. Assuming you do not need to make any changes you can accept your proof and publish your book (a week or so for Amazon, we are still waiting).

The only pay option we went with was the “Pro Plan” for $39 which offered significantly cheaper books and an “Expanded Distribution Channel”.

Actual Chronicles of Idiocy

First, some business. The Chronicles of IDIOT will be available as a physical book on Amazon very soon, hopefully by the end of the week. We are just tweaking the back cover and need to see another proof.

It seems that if you name a blog “Chronicles of Idiocy”, it might be good to actually chronicle idiocy. I am all sure we have seen some brilliant moves in our lives and if you want to send me a story of idiocy that you think MUST BE TOLD, then e-mail me at chronicles.of.idiot@gmail.com. I will be doing this as an ongoing occasional thing on my blog. Seems only fair.

1. Texas Gas Attendant With A Lit Cigarette
   Yes, that is correct. About 25 years ago, my family and I were doing our yearly trek to Oklahoma to visit my Grandparents when we stopped in Amarillo for gas. And yes, for whatever reason we got full service for the gas. And for whatever reason, that attendant HAD to have a cigarette. My Dad (who is a smoker) was really pissed. I think he insisted on finishing pumping the gas. Luckily, things did not end like a Michael Bay film.

2. Driver Antics
   I don't know why we do the stupidest things when driving. Those cars are the most dangerous things we can do day to day (on average) and some people think it is the perfect time to express their idiocy. There is always making calls or texting while driving. But, I experienced something that I found just incredibly stupid. I was on a two lane road one afternoon sandwiched between two choice people. The one behind us was tailgating and on the phone. The one ahead was going 5-10 miles under the speed limit. I guess she did not like the fact that I was behind her, I was not trying to tailgate her, but had a tailgater myself to deal with. So, the lady ahead of me decides to partially pull over, but not stop, and slow down even more. Not, fully pull over and not put on her hazards if there was a problem. Now, if there was no traffic coming from the opposite lane, I would consider going around her. But there was A LOT of traffic coming from the opposite lane and me trying her suggestion would have caused a front end collision. So, I just slow down even more with her and wait till it is safe to pass. This let the tailgater behind me come that much closer to kissing my butt. I have got a suggestion, just try driving the speed limit, ok? If there is a problem, use your hazard lights. That is what they are there for!
   Before I leave this Driver's Antics category, I have to mention the red light runners. We seem to have a special problem with this in Tucson. It seems to be, if one of them gets away with it, why can't everyone else? This is especially egregious in left turn lanes near I-10, the light is red and 2-3 of these people are still turning left like everything is hunky dory! My favorite is when someone turns right in front of you but does not look at you. They purposefully look anywhere else than at the person that might run into them. If they don't see you, it can't be illegal!

3. Anything out of most politician's mouth.
   Is it me or does a manufactured crisis like the debt ceiling mess make you want to scream? They could have solved that problem, MONTHS AGO, but this makes such great political theater. Now, those lovely congresspeople went on vacation for the summer before solving the FAA funding dispute. This means around 21,000 people were OUT OF A JOB till congress realized that people think they suck for not settling the dispute. I know who should be out of a job, and they don't work for the FAA. Politicians are supposed to compromise, but these new breeds would rather hold our credit rating hostage and screw people out of their jobs than compromise. And then they go of vacation. Well, now Standard & Poors (emphasis on POOR) has downgraded our countries credit to AA+, cause the + makes it so much better! The stock market is in a feeding frenzy and those lovely politicians are on vacation blaming each other. We need compromise, not blame, but I think things will get worse before they get better. OK, I will get off my soapbox, now...

4. Many things on TV today.

Honestly, I don't think I need to say much except two words: reality television.