“THE JOY OF SATIRE!”

I went to the Tucson Festival of Books two years ago, I met some “publishing consultants” who's company was there to help improve your book and get it published. When I told them I was working on a satire, they said that would be a “hard sell” and that maybe I should try writing a chick-lit romance. Well if I did that it would have to be satirical, I just cannot help myself.

Webster's Dictionary defines Satire as a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn .

The Wikipedia definition:

Satire is primarily a literary genre or form, although in practice it can also be found in the graphic and performing arts. In satire, vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, and society itself, into improvement. Although satire is usually meant to be funny, its greater purpose is often constructive social criticism, using wit as a weapon.

Now despite those well intentioned people at the TFOB, I think satire is an easy sell, it is all around us in the Western world and is probably the most desperately needed in places where there are regimes that would do anything to prevent them from being mocked. You see it all the time in TV and Movies.

An example: Trey Parker and Matt Stone are the creators and main writers of South Park. Those guys are Satirists of the highest level, then add some toilet humor to let everyone enjoy their show. But my example from them would be their marionette movie “Team America: World Police”. Here is a list of what this movie lovingly mocks: Hollywood, world politics, national pride, pornography, and I am sure I am forgetting something, it has been a while since I have been able to see the movie since I now have a 5 year old son and a 2 year old daughter. (While the movie has got puppets, IT IS NOT FOR KIDS!) But one of the best parts is the portrait of Kim Jong-Il, the “dear leader” of North Korea. That country is in serious trouble. This 'leader' has led those people into starvation and squalor while he eats flown-in lobster and kidnaps his favorite starlet to force to make a movie with him. If anyone needs to be mocked it is him. Someone who hasn't had much of the mockery is Robert Mugabe the 'dear leader' of Zimbabwe, I hope it is out there but I have not seen it.

Ok, maybe it is not an easy sell to many people, but it is out there in ways that sometimes are hard to spot. I consider the “Sookie Stackhouse Southern Vampire Mystery Series” by Charlene Harris and the HBO show True Blood, based on those novels to be fantastic satire. The novels are a bit more subtle and the show is really in your face about issues of religion, sexual orientation, racism/hatred of all kinds. And it is really funny, rather perverted (it is an HBO show after all) quite gross, but worth it. There is a reason my friends and I (who gather on Sunday's to watch it, with no children nearby) call it Vampire Porn.

You would think a show called “Nip/Tuck” and being about plastic surgery would go nowhere near satire. Well, you would be wrong; and it is cheesy, also rather perverted, and lovingly mocks vanity. It showed that one person's extremely expensive surgery of liposuction and a tummy tuck could then help the surgeon to do pro bono work on cleft palates. I am not through the entire series on Netflix (another show to not let the kiddo's watch, by the way), I am at season 5 where the crew moved the show to Hollywood and really let the satire fly. They go after reality shows, (literally) predatory agents, and even mock their own show, which I thought was awesome. I guess I should expect nothing less of the shows creator Ryan Murphy, who is now doing a little show on Fox about a certain group of rag-tag show-choir geeks, which ventures into satire, but I think could go a lot further. Give the audience some credit, Ryan! Here is hoping that the next year in “Glee” will be a little more consistent and push the satirical envelope.

You may have noticed something in common with all of those examples I have given, they all add extra dramatic license besides satire to keep their shows watched, lots of sex. I am not crazy about it but it does get people to read/watch something that is making fun of something they may not want to hear: all the consequences of such carnal abandon. You know what I mean: the STDs, crazy-ex's, and unplanned children. At least these stories might get people to think twice before getting plastered and having a one-night stand. But probably not...

And that is what satire is supposed to do, it is supposed to jokingly point out problems, so that perhaps people might think about fixing them. And anyway, I prefer to laugh not cry.

To end I thought I would give a list of popular examples of satire in TV: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, The Colbert Report, The Simpsons, Saturday Night Live, South Park, Family Guy (when not doing odd pop-culture references, fight scenes, or fart jokes), Futurama, 30Rock, Arrested Development (may she RIP).

And then there are some unexpected examples of satire in TV:

- “The Penguins of Madagascar” and “Spongebob SquarePants”, (yes, we watch a lot of kids TV).

- The underrated and short-lived “FireFly” showing the no matter our technological advance, humans may not live in utopia like “Star Trek”.

- “The Big Bang Theory” may be a sitcom, but it mocks arrogant scientists, which is much needed and very funny to a geeky nerd like me.

- “Two and Half Men” mocked Charlie Sheen, whether he knew it or not, I may actually start watching that show now that he is not on it, but probably not...

- “Sarah Palin's Alaska” ok, that is another lil' joke. He, he!

In a later blog post I will discuss the 'Joy of Satire' in it's original form, my favorite form, in literature.  

World Religions (and lack thereof) – there actually is something positive about EACH ONE!

Now that the Rapture did not happen on Saturday, I thought this would give me an opportunity to say positive things about each system of belief that I have scrapped together during “Religions of the World” classes, and from reading news items and Wikipedia.

Much is said today about the negative aspects of religion. I am rather tired of it all. I have met people of many belief systems who are good people and could not see how God would leave them behind. These are in a random sort of order, with no emphasis on any belief system:

ISLAM: In learning the pillars of Islam, you learn about their charitable giving. It is one of the 5 fundamental pillars of their religion, it is a NECESSITY, as it should be for all (at the very least) prosperous people. Yet another thing I think Americans put on the back burner, it is difficult to give, but in helping others you are helping yourself.

BUDDISM: Desire causes suffering: so true, so damn true! Trying to prevent suffering means getting rid of desire, a very difficult thing for many Americans to embrace. This may not be a positive thing to say but it is definitely a world truth.

AGNOSTICS: I certainly understand the Agnostic viewpoint, saying there is no certainty in the existence of God is a safe way to think. It is a skeptical way to think, and I am of that thinking when it comes to things other people have seen and believe in the paranormal world. I have not seen poltergeists, Bigfoot, or aliens (visiting our planet, I accept the mathematical probability that they exist). So I am agnostic about those things. They may exist, I just can't say that I have seen evidence for them.

CHRISTIANITY: When not misused to go to war, the things that Jesus actually taught are rather deep and hard to comprehend (even today). It is difficult to imagine how it went over in his day, but his message got out. But his fundamental message (amazing I again use the word fundamental) is about love, for one another and the world.

Now I know Mormon is a different kind of Christianity but I still thought it needed its own paragraph:

MORMON: Many might say that this is a cult, not a religion. While I will not go into that, (but I won't discuss Scientology, a cult set up by a Science Fiction author) I will say that the Mormons know how to raise respectful children. Many boys in my high school were jerks, but not the Mormon boys. I am not trying to make light of this, how you raise your children sets them up for their future. If they are respectful in high school, they will likely be respectful husbands and fathers, which is not that common now a days. Also, in a South Park episode, it is stated that their religion was the one true way to heaven, and I think those guys must know something since they also know Satan's bedroom habits. ;P

HINDUISM: There is an easy positive aspect of this spectrum of religions, that is yoga. I practice this form of stretching and relaxation regularly and find it very helpful to keep the stress at bay. You noticed I said spectrum of religions? There are (just like all the rest of these religions) many different variations on this religious tradition in the Indian Subcontinent. One thing that can be said about many of them, they are tolerant of one each others beliefs.

JUDAISM: The tradition of scholarship in Judaism is honorable, although sometimes a bit misguided (for conservative Jewish husband and father to only study the torah and not provide for his family is misguided to me). There could be a very long religious debate as to which religious text gets the most study. The Koran, New Testament and many other texts get quite the analysis but I think the Torah wins. Also, the breaking of a glass at the end of a wedding just seems to be such a bizarre yet wonderful ending to a wedding. The groom breaks the glass, the new husband and wife kiss and everyone claps and yells “Masel tov!” It's joy is infectious. I would have liked to do that in my own wedding, but I think my Uncles (who are both Lutheran Pastors) would have not seen the relevance since my husband is not Jewish.

ATHIESTS: Yet another world view I am not trying to make light of but Atheists seem to make great musicians. I really like the song “Deus” from the Sugarcubes, and find it hilarious when they say they met God and he got them “squeaky clean – I mean REAL clean”. Yes, they are making fun of baptism, and that is their right. There is another atheistic pop song that I knew from the late 80's called “Dear God” by XTC. This song is angrily atheistic. It is an expression of the rage that can come from the anger at religion because it has really messed up someone's life. Whether someone loses a loved one to a horrible “act of God” such as the recent tsunami in Japan, or if an innocent child is molested by a trusted priest, such acts can cause someone to be incredibly angry at people and God. This anger does create fantastic music, and their songs have made me think about these sort of issues. The “why do bad things happen to good people” question that will always perplex us, no matter what you believe.

Now you may be wondering, “Well Erin, what religion are you?” I was raised ELCA Lutheran (yes, there is a difference in the US between the Lutheran Synods, I did not want to get into that). I am raising my children to be ELCA Lutherans, and to hopefully be conscientious Lutherans. Believing, accepting, caring, flexible (NOT literal) when interpreting the bible and therefore, to not become compete jerks.

Lastly, I would like to say that it is my hope that the Rapture will come, but it will be God's little joke on us because it will happen when the Sun slowly becomes a red giant and envelops the Earth, in say 5 billion years. That is when science says it will happen, anyway. Oh, did I mention that I have a scientific education? No? Well I know it seems like those two aspects of my life should be in conflict, but they are not. I have given a great deal of thought to this and they can peacefully co-exist if both are taken not to literally.

All religions need to try to co-exist as well, and that is much easier said than done.

Why I wrote The Chronicles of IDIOT:

Why did I write this novella, which is not chick-lit or fantasy, without any vampires, zombies or graphic descriptions of sex.

Well, if you haven't stopped reading after that last sentence, I will describe my book. It is a satirical novella about a secret U.S. government organization called IDIOT. It purpose is to distract us Americans from what the government does by any means necessary. Ok, not ANY means necessary, just the ones that work, such as entertainment.

Now, I am not saying the world should not be entertained. Far from it, life can suck, life can be wonderful, and entertainment gives us perspective on how lucky we are as Americans. I would be a hypocrite if I said everyone should not watch TV, I am just trying to say maybe people should think about how these distractions influence our lives.

It all started in August 2008. It was a great month that year, my daughter had been born 3 months previously and was a happy baby. My son was 2 and enjoying being a big brother and started his now 3 year obsession with all things Thomas the Tank Engine.

The Olympics in China had just started with the Opening Ceremony, and the web was buzzing about the potential use of fake pictures to show what were supposedly (I wasn't there so I don't really know) real fireworks of footprints all along China to the Bird Nest Stadium. But that wasn't what the biggest buzz was, it seemed that there were these guys from Georgia who claimed to have found Bigfoot. Did they actually find the big guy? No, they bought a fake Bigfoot suit and filled it with dead animals, put it in a freezer and called the media. This got all the Cryptozoology nuts in a frenzy and took many of us for the ride.

I have a degree in Zoology, and happen to know that if Bigfoot was found (highly unlikely), the big guy would be found in some extremely remote region. Let's say in Nepal, or northern Alberta, Canada, but not the wilds of Georgia. Have you ever been to Georgia? There is not a lot of completely empty space there, so this whole thing stank of a hoax to me. But people lapped it up, and these guys actually made money, at least temporarily, from their hoax. News stories of the “Georgia Bigfoot” were actually out competing the freakin' olympics! Seriously!

That got me thinking, it is like people want to be fooled. So what if there was a government agency that helped them do that, so they wouldn't be concerned with or have time to do such things as vote?

It took me another 2 ½ years to write the book, since my main job is looking after my kids and their happiness is my priority. I will release some chapters soon, but I want to go over them with a fine tooth comb, especially since e-books are notorious for being poorly edited. I would like to buck that trend if possible.

Now, I am not saying that everyone is a complete idiot. We are not, but there are things that we are good at and things that show we are complete idiots. Let's use me as an example, I am great at doing the dishes, cause I like my dishes darn well clean. The rest of my house? Not so much. I am not an expert at wall cleaning and with 2 young children, the walls have suffered. I is good at writing (ok, sometimes) but I am not the best when it comes to using grammar correctly. My Mother lovingly suffered through editing the first draft of my book. A later blog will concentrate on answering the eternal question of why editing is the bane of a writer's life. And this blog will not be edited properly and therefore will contain the occasional errorrrrrrrr.

Everyone is good at something but most people are not good at everything. Leonardo Di Vinci is famous to this day because he was a Renaissance Man, but I bet he was not that great at communicating with, and counseling children. Just a guess, I could be wrong.

I am just trying to show with this book, that some things seemed to be purposefully dumb-ed down, it is almost as if idiocy is encouraged. With this book things are taken just a few steps further, and hopefully a few laughs are found in the electronic pages.

EPIC #PITCH2WIN FAILURE

 Not good, starting a blog with talk of failure. But it is said that in the publishing business, persistence is key. So here is my little story of how I lost a writing contest, but am persisting in publishing.

I have written a satirical novella, called “The Chronicles of IDIOT”, and have been in what I call “query hell” since March. After writing a great query letter, compiling a database of literary agents who represent humor and/or satire, I sent off these letters via e-mail and classic standard letters on March 1^st. I have not heard back from any literary agents, except to say “no thanks”. Of coarse, some say “We are not interested but we are sure some other agent will feel differently”. Could you tell me who those agents who would feel differently are? Please?

A friend told me to go on Twitter, and so I have with the handle @ErinBethBerry. Twitter is fun, I enjoy putting jokes out there. Have been trying to keep up with the publishing industry. That was when in mid-March, a twitter contest from Writer's Digest was announced. I jumped on it. I really wanted to try traditional publishing.

Here is my tweet: #Pitch2Win There is a little known US government agency called IDIOT. It's purpose is to distract Americans from the govt's naughty actions.

Then, at Mid-March, I found out my tweet was one of 50 chosen for the contest. The top 3 synopses would win 3 different publishing packages. To say I was psyched is not even close to how I was feeling. We had till April 18^th to finish the 250 word synopsis and 100 word rationale for why this book should win. I took a week off to feel good about myself, then started whittling down my 350 word synopsis down to the 250 necessary words. Then I had to start on the pesky 100 word rationale, for me that was harder than the synopsis. I got it sent in the day before it was necessary and then felt nauseous for the next 3 days. This could be my big break! Well, it wasn't.

After about a week or so of waiting we found out on twitter that we would find out the winner on May 2, 2011. So I waited hopefully and made some great friends on twitter who were also hopeful writers and potential #pitch2win winners.

May 2^nd of this year, was a busy news day, it was the day after President Obama announced that the Navy Seals had taken out Osama Bin Laden. So the world, and my mind, had other things to concentrate on besides my writing career. In mornings, if all goes well, I take my dog, Blizzard out for an early morning walk and listen to music during this walk. That morning my MP3 player broke it to me gently that I would not win this contest. The first 4 songs during my walk were these:

1. “Wishing Well” by Terrance Trent D'arby Yes, I was wishing to win.

2.  “Fuckin' With My Head” by Beck Yes, this contest was messing with my head.

3.  “Airbag” by Radiohead Oh no, I need an airbag

4.  “Look To Your Orb For The Warning” by Monster Magnet, from the Matrix soundtrack. I thought the name was “Goin' Down Now”, cause that is the first lyric and repeated many times. It is a great song and I am embarrassed I didn't know the name. Oh well...

When I heard “Goin' Down Now” I knew my book had not won the contest. I just knew it. And then I found out a few hours later, with a kind e-mail that my MP3 player was right. The next song was “Planet Claire” by the B52's, which suggested I needed a vacation, preferably off planet.

It hurt to not be chosen. But I understand their decision. My book was not really what they were looking for, and I am happy that 3 other authors did get their work published. My husband was hoping to be my “publisher”, anyways. He really wanted to publish “The Chronicles of IDIOT” as an e-book. Now I am psyched to do that cause it will get published. Sure it won't be available to everyone, but it will be available and that is all I can ask.

I will be trying to blog once a week about our journey towards e-publishing as well as other things that are funny ha-ha and funny strange in our life. This will include releasing the first 4 chapters of the “Chronicles of IDIOT” and the reasons I wrote this book.