I Reject The Beauty Is Pain Myth

Women are supposed to be beautiful. Evolutionarily we are to attract mates and so we work on our appearance to make it pleasing to potential mates. Then we will have offspring who will continue our genetic line. But in doing so do we really need to hurt ourselves for that mate?

If you don't think it hurts to be a woman try wearing a corset or high heels. Either you cannot breathe or you have to adjust your balance so you will not fall over with every step you take. These items are supposed to “enhance your silhouette” or some such nonsense. As long as we buy into these lies, and buy these products this myth will persist.

I have a daughter, whom I adore. I do not want her to suffer to be beautiful. The thing is, she already is beautiful. Why try to improve on perfection? I will try to instill in her a sense of self esteem and help her realize that some of the most hurtful people out there say they want to try to help. Her friends who make fun of her, the friend who steals a boy she likes, we women and girls can be very cruel.

A good example of that lately is Gabby Douglas, the gymnastics Olympian. She was criticized for her hair during what should have been a high point of her life. She is a wonderful example to our daughters and others just want to cut her down. Do you know what is done to straighten hair? It can be astoundingly painful. Watch the Chris Rock documentary “Good Hair.”

As for me? I will continue to wear sandals and flats instead of heels (usually) and if I do wear heals, believe me, they are comfortable. I am usually in jeans (comfort) and a t-shirt. If I want to dress it up I add lip gloss and a “nice” shirt. I do wear makeup, just not everyday. It is better for my skin. My hair is wash and wear unless I decide I have the time to do it and that will take as little of time as possible. My hair stylist, Joe, makes sure it will work that way. There are times I do get more dolled up for a date with my hubby or going to the Opera with my Mom. Just not everyday and I try to keep things as comfy as possible.

And my hubby? He does not seem to mind. He wants to be comfortable as well. Not quite the metro-sexual, and I do not mind that, either.

I will sign off with the famous Billy Crystal SNL character “Fernando” saying very tongue-in-cheek “It is better to look good, than to feel good.” Well, that may be how some women see it but I would rather comfortably laugh than try to compete in something that you will never win.