I AM SO FRIGGIN' TIRED OF ZOMBIES!

There, I said it, and I feel so much better. It didn't start this way. I loved the movie “Shawn of the Dead,” but that was released in 2004. Eight years ago I might have checked out “The Walking Dead” but now, no way. Maybe it was because it was a comedy with Simon Pegg that let me be OK with the whole zombie thing.

It does not help when you tell your cousin you are writing a political satire in 2009, and he says “What about zombies? You should write something about zombies, zombies are so hot right now.” Yes, and I guess I should have written a zombie love story, cause zombies are so hot right now and romance never goes out of style! Just ask the writer of “50 Shades of Grey!” OK, so we will mix zombies with “Mommy Porn.” How about “50 Shades of Grey Matter: A Zombie Love Story.” It would fly off the shelves!

Now there are people on the internet talking about a “Zombie Apocalypse.” All because some idiot took a very dangerous drug called 'Bath Salts' and then attacked a homeless man in Miami. If you haven't heard about this you must have been on a deserted island with no internet. Lucky you!

For the fun of it let's give a definition of a Zombie (according to Dictionary.com): (in voodoo)

“the body of a dead person given the semblance of life, but mute and will-less, by a supernatural force, usually for some evil purpose.” Sounds like a really exciting character!

In many stories with zombies there is usually a horrible virus or in the case of South Park, Worcestershire Sauce that turns people into zombies, but they said it was “Pinkeye.” It is a hilarious episode, made in 1997. Like I said, comedy makes zombies tolerable to me.

Do some people want this zombie apocalypse? That is certainly what I get from this situation. The funny thing is I think the only people who would survive a zombie attack are well trained military people and the extremely lucky. That is what those shows are about right? We all want to be the lucky ones, hacking off heads and limbs but not getting bitten and therefore infected to then become a member of the Z tribe.

By the way, I cannot think of a better anti-drug campaign than: “Bath Salts Will Turn You Into A Zombie And You Will Want To Eat Someone's Face!” Nothing says “Don't do it!” quite like that. But there are those very special idiots out there who would probably say “cool!” Sigh.

This, of course, is a huge distraction. There are those that speculate that our fascination with this genre peaks during recessions. I guess you would want to think that “Hey, it could be worse, there could be a zombie apocalypse!”

Now I get to back track a little cause there is an exception besides comedy. I have to say I am fascinated with the world of “A Game of Thrones.” There are in this world creatures called “Wights” which are created by “The Others.” Or as my husband called them “Ice Zombies.” The great thing about this novel and now show is that they don't use the word zombie. They are called “Wights.” No Z word anywhere! Also, they don't just walk around with sores and limbs falling off calling for brains and sort-of attacking people. The Others are a stealth-like force, attacking quickly and are really scary to me. Finally, an original kind of zombie.